Sunday, September 5, 2010

Nothing

 a strange journal into the unemployment of S.Kandaswamy 

chapter 21: Nothing                                                                                                                           


To feel nothing as the music is pulled out of my ears and before my eyes to see the melody that struck my senses like the passion that still burns in my heart so deeply when I breathe with every gust of wind that blows into my veins. Into the black passage as a numb voice filled with a certain meaning now rules beneath my tongue and soars like the high string between fingers. Nothing but the cloud is slipping away and I have become the passing shadow fleeing across the sun. With every second I have spent writing, for the words that are spoken softly by mine does the elegance of my speech hinder the hearing of the silent. Swerving out of the darkness to hear the first words the tongue had to utter, spitting the unhinged fathom that deepened of every letter of the sacred lips.
Departing the ground and farewell to the forbidden sky of dreams, riding on the plain sound of the falling footsteps, and out of the blue did the sky turn grey and I am waiting as always to feel the rain upon my face. Illusions, I fear, for the thunder of the storm, grumbles at my witness of its natural fury but to question its temper and the roar of the deluge as the shadows weep still and again.
Sweeping drops of the ever welcome rain and my heart that beats at every fall and suddenly the universe has become one with the elusive grains of time. With love do I stand above, with the sadness of a man in eternal sin of the loss of his freedom in my mind and for that must I weep alone. The tears that I speak of in all my days have made me a man of simple understanding of what I see and to cleanse my words upon the trial of questions as each answer is clearer than the next. The pain of the slashing sleet that creeps along my skin at the grace of this crystal rain and my morning was better awakened.
One day to write and find the meaning of nothing as deep an image that leaves the balance of imagination and reality swaying gently to the winds of chance.

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